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Vain Fixation

from 7​-​Day Songs Vol. 2 by Ben Visini

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lyrics

Wake up at 3, can't go to sleep
See everything
The memories a younger me
Embarrassing
What I would give to live a day, an hour
To have a second try
Dreaming of doing right
But I can't point out why

Why I seem to care, it's in the past
So have a drink, so have a laugh
Despite my fuck ups I still made it here
Take a moment, have perspective
Everyone gets introspective
7 years I'll be reminiscing
On this moment and think "I'm better now"

As I'm lying in my bed
Everything I've ever said
Starts to circle in my head
All connected with a thread

(I don't know why I said that
I don't know why I did that)
This is why I had no friends
And if I did then they were just pretend
And it's happening again
I'm no different, there's no end

(Who was I?)
Still connecting all the dots
Tie the strings, look what I've got
Just a mess of yarn and knots
Regretting what I am and what I'm not

And I'm just about to break
I don't want to be awake
Take the biggest breath I can take
There's still choices I can make

The fact that I can criticize
My former self must mean I'm wise
The current me's the dumbass of tomorrow
Take a moment, have perspective
Everyone gets introspective
7 years I'll be reminiscing
On this moment and think "I'm better now"

credits

from 7​-​Day Songs Vol. 2, released September 17, 2020

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Ben Visini San Francisco, California

Comedy music from an unsuccessful musical theater participant-turned-pit musician-turned-man unsure of where hyphens are supposed to-go.

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