All of us out there, no need to pretend
We’ve all had certain thoughts of our friends
Thinking that they’re incredibly hot
But we don’t wanna ruin what we’ve got
Whether you’re close or you just know them in passing
Impure thoughts of them are rapidly amassing
In your brain where they will reside
It’s a way for you to stay sexually satisfied
I know you’ll never sleep with me
Which is why you’re in my fantasy
Oh, everybody’s doing it, it can’t be wrong
Just don’t say this stuff out loud, or worse in a song - oh, shhhiit
Nobody’s backing up on me
So I fall back on my backup fantasy
Some people volunteer, donate to charities
As for me - I just don’t tell you ‘bout my fantasies
Except for the fact that that’s the whole point of this song - motherfucker
All of us out there, I know I’m not alone
Thinking of my friends in my imaginary bone
I may be crass, but I’d be willing to bet
The last time you went to town, you thought of someone that you’ve met
So if you know me, my apologies
I go to bed and picture everybody down on their knees
Then I see you guys around and think what I did wasn’t right
And so I swear off masturbation
Until I get home that night (I’m sorry)
A stranger or a friend could please
Your inner most fantasies
And I can see you guys all staring, you can judge me all you want
We all write this in our journals, I just use a bigger font - size
You’d all be telling lies
If you said I’m the only one to fantasize
And if this comes as a surprise, how did you not realize
Have you heard the songs I write, shoulda figured that I might - ugh
Be that type of guy
To have these fantasies of mine
Oh you may find it rather crude to think of my friends in the nude
But you will find it’s nothing new - I’m just like you
All of us out there, no need to be ashamed
Deep down we’re all the same
Before you met your S.O., half the time that you came
You were thinking of someone that didn’t even know your name
The other half you were thinking of your peers
Grabbing them tissues ‘cause you’re crying them baby-making tears
These thoughts are fine, just keep them inside
Don’t ever really tell a friend this, you don’t wanna be that guy
I know one day I may be
A part of your fantasy
Yeah, ‘cause we’re all the same when we go to sleep
We’re all creeps
Or maybe it’s just me projecting my own private thoughts onto everyone else - nah!
You do it, I do it, everybody’s into it
And when I’m done with it, feel like a piece of shit
You do it, I do it, everybody’s into it
And when I’m done with it, feel like a piece of shit
